


Welcome to the high school

by herilaveur



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26300002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: January 2018: Lucas' mother is hospitalized. Lucas is forced to go and live with his father's new family and change high school.It's already difficult to get to a new High School during the school year...so Lucas doesn't want the students in his class to find out that he is a gifted child and that even though he is already in his final year, he is only 16 years old.A parallel universe where Lucas finds himself in senior year with Eliott, Lucille, Idriss and Sofiane...
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Eliott Demaury/Lucille (SKAM France)
Comments: 79
Kudos: 175





	1. New life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to imagine Eliott during his first year of senior year. So I guess Lucille, Sofiane, Idriss and him were in the same class...only Lucas was missing for this universe to be complete...so I hope you like it.

''Come on Bro! You'll make it, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Lucas looks at Yann on his phone and tries to smile at him.

"I miss you already, Yann!"

Yann smiles at him. He could roll his eyes or laugh, but no, he's just smiling at his best friend because he knows how hard it is for him to change schools in the middle of the school year.

''You too, but we met two days ago, Lulu. I swear it's going to be okay."

Lucas moans.

''It's easy for you, you've got the whole gang with you. I'm all alone!"

Yann sighs and Lucas blames himself for making him suffer by complaining, whereas it's absolutely not Yann's fault if Lucas' father decided to take him to live with his new family and to send him to the nearest high school so that it would be supposedly easier.

''Hey, I'll see you Saturday with Arthur and Yann, okay? It's not like you're in the same class as us anyway, 'cause you're way smarter than the three of us combined."

Lucas sighs like that every time Yann tells him that. Frankly, he would have preferred to stay with students his own age. It was his father who was happy when the principal offered to make him skip classes. The first time was when he was 8 years old, the second time was when he was 12. Lucas would have preferred to stay in the same class as Yann, but that didn't stop them from being the best friends in the world. So Lucas can only hope that now that he is going to another school, it will also always be the case. 

In his old school, Lucas didn't mix at all with the students in his class and it suited him very well. He hung out all the time with Yann and the guys in his class: Basile and Arthur. From time to time, Daphne, Alexia, Emma and Imane would join them. Lucas started high school 2 years before them, so he had to go to the middle school part of the institution during recess but the teachers always let him. And since September, the three boys have been in the somophore grade, so Lucas was able to take advantage of the recess and lunch break to hang out with them. The four of them are like brothers and Lucas will really miss them, even though sometimes their discussions about girls really annoyed him. It's not that he doesn't like girls, it's just that he doesn't have time for them.

''Lucas! It's time to go! You're going to be late!"

Lucas feels all of his anger bubbling to the surface. He can't stand Christelle, his father's fiancé. He would have preferred to continue to live alone, or he would have liked his father to accept that he goes to live with Manon in the flatshare. He would have settled for a couch rather than having to move. But no, his father force him to come and live with him, Christelle and Maya. 

''I have to leave you, Bro, I have to get ready too. I'll call you tonight, okay? Just be yourself, Lulu. Everything's gonna be okay. Just do this six months quietly and then you can move, okay?"

Lucas nods and hangs up before he stuffs the phone in his pocket. 

"Lucas?"

Lucas frowns and gives Christelle a black look. She holds Maya in her arms and the girl smiles at him. Lucas can't help but resent them. He can't stand knowing that his father has been dating Christelle for so long. When his father told him that he had a daughter and that she was 2 years old, Lucas felt an extreme anger overwhelming him. It's not that Maya is annoying, but Lucas can't stand her presence, reminding him too well that ~~his~~ their father is an asshole. When he was younger, he dreamed for years of having a little sister. He didn't want a brother, he was formal, he wanted a sister. But he never wanted a sister like that, the result of his father's cheating.

And now he is forced to live with them and that makes him really angry.

''All right, I'm going!'' grumbles Lucas as he picks up his backpack.

''What do you want to eat for breakfast?'' asks Christelle softly.

Lucas hates her nice voice. He hates that she tries to be so understanding with him when he clearly makes no effort with her or her daughter.

''Nothing, it's okay. I've got to go."

Lucas leaves the apartment without a glance behind him. His father has already been away from the office for more than an hour, and fortunately otherwise he would have told Lucas again that he makes no effort to integrate Christelle. And he's right, Lucas is not making any effort, he doesn't want to do it. 

And it will be the same for high school. He just wants to graduate so he can find a school far from Paris to move away from his father's house. So he has no intention of fitting in. He just wants to graduate and leave.

He walks through the school gate with a sigh and goes to the secretary's office. A lady with multicolored glasses and a smile far too enthusiastic for a Monday morning gives him his textbooks, his plannning and tells him how to find his class, assuring him that everything will go well. Lucas goes up to the second floor but he is probably wrong somewhere because he is in the library instead of finding his classroom, and that's why he is so late for class. 

"Lucas Lallemant, I guess?'' said the teacher looking at him through her glasses.

Lucas nods and enters without a glance for the students. He knows that everyone is looking at him, and he doesn't want that. He just wants to go unnoticed. But he knows it's not possible when he hears a laugh in the back of the classroom.

''Wait! Lucas? No kidding. What the hell are you doing here?"

Lucas raises his head and opens his eyes when he sees Idriss, Imane's brother. Imane always wants to get the best grades in science so sometimes Lucas went over to her house to help her revise before homework, but she clearly didn't need him, she's really very smart. He did not even know that Idriss was in this high school.

''Why are you in a senior grade, when you're the same age as my sister, who is in somophore grade?"

Lucas feels all eyes on him as he feels his cheeks turn scarlet red. As for discretion, it's a totally failed.

''I...I...It's just''

''He's just a lot smarter than you, you idiot! Think about it!"

Lucas looks at the guy who just spoke. He has a brown artistic blur on his head, and Lucas couldn't tell if it was done on purpose or if he just didn't do his hair this morning but he doesn't have much time to think about it because he smiles so much that Lucas feels like they're both in the class. He has eyes of an undefinable color from so far away, but his eyes stretch out like almonds as he smiles. Lucas feels his cheeks get even redder and realizes that the whole class is looking at him so he walks to the corner of the classroom, to a completely free table and sits down looking at his hands on the desk. Maybe if he doesn't look around, he won't feel like everyone is looking at him anymore.

''Eliott! Don't talk to him like that. Sorry, Idriss. He doesn't think so."

Lucas raises his head and looks at the guy, Eliott, who turns to the brunette sitting next to him and looks at her with a black look.

''Lucille, don't apologize for me. I'm not sorry and I think so. My best friend is a complete idiot sometimes, he deserves to know that. Idriss, you were stupid and rude."

''Eliott Demaury!" teacher gets angry ''Stop messing around in my class. Not from the first day, anyway! Didn't you make any good resolutions this year? You should!"

''I didn't do anything!'' complains Eliott when he gets up. ''It was Idriss who started it.''

Idriss stands up with a big smile and turns to Lucas, shrugging his shoulders.

''Yeah, it's my fault. Sorry, Lucas. Welcome to our high school."

Idriss comes to punch Lucas' fist under the really annoyed look of the teacher.

"Idriss, go sit down!" shouts the teacher, visibly already exhausted.

''Eliott! Sit down!'' orders Lucille with a frown.

Lucas looks at Eliott who moves aside to prevent Lucille from putting her hand on his arm and he takes his things before crossing the classroom.

'Eliott Demaury!'' the teacher moans, looking up at the sky. ''Do you need me to send you to the principal to start your detention quota? Are you going to break your record from last term?''

Eliott shakes his head and sits in the free chair next to Lucas.

''No, it's okay, it's just : _Nobody puts baby in the corner_.''

The class laughs, except for Lucille who makes an annoyed whimper and Eliott turns to Lucas to wink at him. 

And there, Lucas feels like dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you imagine the mess in a class like this? I totally can! (I'm really sorry for the teachers who really have to go through this on a daily basis...but I can imagine Idriss and Eliott making a mess in the classroom...welcome to the high school :-))


	2. Jealous

The bell announces the end of the class hour and Lucas sighs because he hates geography. Almost immediately, Eliott stands up and sits down on his table to face Lucas.

"I hope you don't hold it against my buddy, Idriss, he forgets to think before he talks, but he's not a bad person."

Lucas shakes his head trying not to look at Eliott. It took him months to get rid of the stupid crush he had on Yann, trying not to be jealous of Emma and to convince himself that he's not gay, he can't let it start again with Eliott.

''No, don't worry. And then I'm used to it."

Lucas sighs and Eliott puts his hand on his shoulder.

''You know, I said _baby_ just because it was a _Dirty Dancing_ quote, not because I think you're a baby, although I'm sure someone would love to call you b"

"Eliott!'' Lucille cut him, and placing himself between Eliott's legs, wrapping his arms around him as if to mark his territory ''why don't you come back and sit next to me?"

Eliott looks at her then looks at Lucas smiling.

"No, don't worry, it's okay, I'll keep Lucas company, it can't be easy being the new guy."

Lucile looks at Lucas with a frown and gives him a black look.

"Yeah, especially when you arrive in the senior class six months before your exams and you're two years younger than everyone else. So what's your story? That's pretty weird, isn't it?"

Lucas look at her with a black look, and surprisingly Eliott does the same. He takes advantage of it to push her back slightly, closing the space between his legs so that she can no longer nestle there.

"Don't be jealous, Lucille, he's just smarter than you, it's not like it's his fault. How mean you can be sometimes. I hate it."

The math teacher enters the classroom, ordering everyone to sit down.

"Eliott, you can go with your girlfriend if you want." said Lucas softly while staring at his book.

Lucas tries not to let anything show, but frankly, he really hopes Eliott doesn't go back to sit down with her. But the moment he thinks that, he thinks it would be better if Eliott walks away because he makes him feel things that Lucas doesn't want to feel. 

Eliott, totally unaware of the beginning of the fight that is going on inside Lucas, smiles at him and gives him a slight knee kick under the table.

''No, I'm better off here. With you."

Lucas can't help but wonder if this outburst of kindness is hiding something. Of course, he's had several instances of guys or girls trying to get close to him to do their homework for them or letting them cheat. But when he looks at Eliott smiling at him, he doesn't feel like it's not true. Eliott just looks happy to be there, next to him.

"Okay," says the math teacher, "so when you have these kinds of equations, the easiest way to do it is to take the unknown and just..."

Lucas frowns. There is definitely an easier way to do it. He gets upset when the teachers look like they don't know what they're talking about so he rolls his eyes and looks out the window.

''Lucas, are you lost? It's normal, don't worry, you'll come see me at the end of class."

Lucas shakes his head and rolls his eyes again.

''No, I'm not lost. Besides, there are easier ways to solve your equation."

Whistling can be heard from the back of the classroom and the teacher looks at him frowning.

''Do you want to play smart? Come and show me, then."

Lucas gets up and solves the equation in less than a minute. He rests the felt pen at the bottom of the board, proud of the teacher's pale face. 

''Where did you learn how to do that?''

Lucas looks at him and smiles.

''I read that in a book on practical and speculative arithmetic, I could lend it to you, but it's in Latin.''

Lucas returns to sit down under the applause and whistles of several guys in the class. Idriss applauds really loudly, while the boy sitting next to him tries to calm him down. Lucille looks at him as if she's going to kill him while Eliott looks totally bluffed.

''Damn, that was huge!'' whispers Eliott once Lucas is sitting in his seat ''you made him shut his big mouth. You are so surprising. I love surprising people."

Lucas smiles. It's the first time anyone thinks he's cool except his friends. Usually other people think he's too smart, too weird or just too young so they don't even bother to get to know him.

"Lucas, you'll come see me at the end of class." the teacher says.

Lucas immediately loses his smile but Eliott gives him a slight knee bump and then leaves him against his own. The rest of the class goes by really fast, but maybe it's because Lucas can't get his thoughts off the way Eliott's leg touches his own. 

"Eliott Demaury, you're staying too." says the teacher as the students begin to leave the classroom to go eat. 

"What have I done now?" Eliott moans excessively.

The teacher looks at him unimpressed.

''You had a 6/20 average last term, Eliott. With all the classes you missed, it's really hard for me to help you. So, Lucas, would you be willing to tutor Eliott? These are classes paid for by the school."

Lucas is thinking fast. It's clear that if he could save some money, it would make sure he could leave as soon as he graduates.

"I don't want you to feel obligated, Lucas." says Eliott softly, "but I would love to. If you want to, of course."

Lucas takes a slight breath and nods.

"Okay, I'll do it, no problem."

The teacher smiles at him, but it's nothing compared to Eliott's smile. 

''Two hours a week, you decide the schedule. If you're willing to help other students, let me know, I have two younger students in trouble."

Lucas nods with a smile.

''Yes, I need money, so you can count on me.''

Eliott loses a little bit of his smile but when he meets Lucas's eyes, he finds him immediately.

''Okay, perfect. Go eat."

The two boys leave the classroom side by side.

''Thank you Lucas. I've been missing a lot of classes so it's a little hard, especially since I hate math. But, you know, if you don't want to work with me, we can just spend some time together, I'd like that too. Just hang out with you, just the two of us."

Lucas can almost hear himself saying to Eliott that he too would love to spend time just with him, but he can't say that. Eliott has a girlfriend, and Lucas is not gay. He feels absolutely nothing for Eliott. He doesn't feel like he burns when Eliott looks at him like he does now. He didn't spend half the class imagining how Eliott's lips would feel on his own...So why would he want to spend more time alone with Eliott? 

''Yeah. No, we're just going to work, and if your grade doesn't go up, the teacher won't recommend me anymore. When do you want to do that?"

Eliott's thinking, and then he hands Lucas his phone.

''How's tomorrow sound? Tuesday we finish at 5pm, I have an appointment just after but we can meet around 6pm. Can you do it at your place? Because my place is a mess."

Lucas nods and enters his number and address in Eliott's phone before giving it back to him and then he moves away from Eliott as quickly as possible, missing to run over a girl on his way. He just needs to get out of here and clear his head. He can't think about a guy like that. No matter how hard he tries to lie to himself, it doesn't work. Why the fuck does he keep thinking about what it would be like to kiss Eliott?

He comes out of high school and sits in a park almost across the street. He takes his phone out of his pocket and immediately smiles as he reads his messages.

_Yann - 12:02 / I hope that it went well and that you're eating in the cafeteria ! Don't play a bad joke on us, Lulu._

_Arthur - 12:04/ Yann is sad without you, and so are we. We miss you ! Can't wait for Friday night !_

_Basile - 12:04 / Don't forget to eat, Lulu. So, are there any cute girls ???_

Lucas puts away his phone without answering and closes his eyes, letting the sun warm him up today. He stays there during the whole lunch hour, trying not to think about Eliott and all that he makes him feel. He watches a story of Yann eating with Basile and Arthur and he feels his heart clench. He should be with them, normally. 

He sighs and goes back to school ten minutes before class. He picks up some books from his locker and is about to go back up to his classroom when he gets pushed and finds himself pushed against the hallway wall, dropping his books on the floor.

"Oh Lucas!'' says Lucille, falsely surprised 'I didn't see you."

Just by the sound of her voice, and her falsely sorry face, bearing the ghost of a satisfied smile, Lucas knows that this is not true.

''But you are so small.''

Lucas picks up his books, trying to contain his anger and doesn't look around because it's clear that everyone is looking at him. He bends over to pick up his philosophy book but someone else does it before him.

''Are you okay, Lucas?"

Lucas looks at Eliott who gives him back his book with a smile and he nods gently. He already hears Lucille's annoyed sigh.

''Oh it's okay, I didn't hurt him, I just didn't see him. If he wasn't so little, it wouldn't have happened."

Eliott stands up and yawns as he stretches. His arm slaps the books that Lucille holds in her hands and drops them to the ground.

''Oh, shit, Lucille, I didn't see you there. But that's okay, right?"

Eliott grabs Lucas' wrist and pulls him through the hallways to their classroom. They are first in the class and Eliott sits on their table, head down, looking at his hands, which he nervously rubs together.

''Sorry about Lucille, she's mad at me.''

Lucas looks at him with a shrug.

''Oh, if it's because you're sitting next to me, I can be alone, you know."

''I broke up with her. I was tired of her trying to control me all the time. And no, I don't want you to be alone, Lucas."

They stare at each other for a few seconds, and then Eliott smiles.

"We had been together for too long. I want to meet someone new."

Lucas smiles softly.

''Are you already to go out with another girl yet?''

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and looks him in the eyes.

''A girl or a guy, yeah.''

Lucas breaks eye contact, not really knowing how to handle this information. 

''What about you, Lucas?''

Lucas swallows before he looks at Eliott. He's so cute, sitting on the table, legs dangling in the air, a huge smile on his face, visibly waiting for an answer.

''I have a girlfriend.''


	3. Defend

Lucas rethinks his lie during the whole philosophy class. He doesn't even really know why he lied to Eliott. Yes, he does. He thought that Eliott would stay away from him if he understood that he was not available. But Eliott doesn't. He sat next to Lucas as soon as the philosophy teacher walked in and even though he spends the whole class drawing something, he looks at Lucas out of the corner of his eye every few moments. 

"So, Voltaire decides to finish the book with the simple sentence: _We must cultivate our garden_. What do you think Voltaire meant by that simple sentence?"

Most of the students in the class look at each other. Eliott is still drawing, Idriss seems to be asleep. Maybe he really is. Next to him, Sofiane, whom Eliott introduced to Lucas when he came back into the classroom after the break, frowns, obviously not having an answer to the question. Lucille looks at Lucas as if she is going to jump on him, and the two girls sitting in front of her, obviously his friends, do the same. Then Lucas stops looking around and stares at his copy of _Candide_.

"Maxime?'' finally says the teacher without much conviction.

"That he has to go back to work and stop chatting for nothing?"

Half the class laughs while the teacher frowns. 

"I was waiting for a more thoughtful answer, Maxime. Ok, the new guy. Lucas, right?"

Lucas nods with a sigh.

''Right.''

"Any ideas?"

Lucas sighs.

''I think Maxime is right, actually.''

The teacher sighs, looking away.

''If that's the kind of answer you used to skip two grades, you should know it doesn't work like that here.''

Lucas hears laughter behind him and looks at Lucille who takes a huge satisfied smile. There's nothing worse than feeling that he doesn't belong here when he does, so Lucas clears his throat.

"In fact, Pangloss is thrown into one of his endless speeches, and Candide simply answers him: "That's not all, but I don't have that much to do, the garden won't wait". It's a polite way of telling him that he has to stop chatting for nothing and get to work. I think the garden he is referring to is our earth as opposed to the earthly garden of Eden. So it's also a pike to Catholicism. This interpretation can be deduced from the comparison with the first chapter where Candide experiences the Baron's earthly paradise. This happiness and paradise are illusory. In the end, Voltaire, through Candide, gives a narrow lesson through his realism: if happiness exists, it is on earth that it must be built, even if it does not totally fulfill our expectations. In any case, it will be better than the one that religion promises us in a false way. So let's stop talking for nothing and try to build our happiness on this shitty fucking Earth.''

Lucas realizes that the whole class seems to be looking at him and his cheeks turn red while the teacher nods and smiles.

"I see. Good Lucas, thank you. It's a pretty sad representation but it's fair."

''Oh, he's a fucking nerd!'' whistles a guy in the back of the class. 

''It's not human to be like that.'' Laughs the guy sitting next to him. ''This guy's worse than a big head. He has to spend his life studying."

"Hey Sam!" calls him Idriss and throws him a sheet of paper rolled into a ball "Shut up!"

Sofiane elbows Idriss, while Sam raises his middle finger.

"That's enough!'' orders the philosophy teacher ''Calm down and right away. Idriss, you calm down or I'll send you to detention. Baptiste and Samuel, I don't want to hear any more of this sort of thing."

''What?!'' Samuel is indignant. ''It's true, isn't it? How can a kid who's not even 16 years old be a senior and know so much? It's just not normal. I'm not being mean, I'm just telling the truth. I saw a report on geniuses like him, they're always weird."

Eliott immediately goes towards him and grabs him by the collar of his sweater.

''Shut up, Sam! Okay? Just shut up."

"Eliott!" calls her professor.

Eliott lets go of the guy and goes back to his seat grumbling. Lucas doesn't open his mouth for the rest of the class. Eliott's knee touches his knee during the whole class but this time it's not enough to calm him down. He wants to run away and never come back, but every time he looks at Eliott, he just wants to stay with him. And it makes him want to run even further because it's not fucking normal that he feels that way about Eliott. He doesn't want to feel that way. He just wants to be normal. No fuss. The kind of person that nobody notices. 

After this class, they have sports and it's the only thing Lucas hates in high school so he walks into the locker room dragging his feet while Sofiane explains to him that they play soccer. It couldn't be worse: running around on a field behind a fucking ball. 

Lucas changes quickly and is already starting to feel bad after running only two laps of the field for warm-up. 

''What's up, nerd? Your body doesn't perform as well as your head? Or is it just that your head is too heavy for your small body? Demaury is not there to protect you? The two weirdest guys in the class could only be good together.''

Lucas looks at Sam and shows him his middle finger as he keeps trying to run. 

''Fuck you.''

Samuel stops running and stands in front of Lucas.

''Oh, relax, zebra. You may be smarter than me, but I can blow your head off anytime I want, tiny. If Lucille can knock you to the ground, I can smash you."

Lucas clenches his fists and gives him a black look.

''Try it. I don't hit girls, but I can hit assholes, no problem."

Sam pushes him back and Lucas punches him in the face. Sam's lip starts bleeding almost immediately, while he starts screaming in surprise and Lucas steps back.

"What the hell?" asks the coach, as he runs up to them, cutting his way through the students gathered around Sam. "Who did this?"

Lucas opens his mouth but Sam shakes his head.

''Nobody sir, I fell down.''

Lucas watches him go towards the nurse, frowning.

"He's too ashamed to say that a kid not even 16 years old just exploded in his face." Idriss laughs, "Nice right, man!"

"Don't call him a kid!'' resumes Sofiane ''Sorry, Lucas. You just challenged the alpha male of the class, well done. I think he'll leave you alone after that."

''Pair up!'' yells the teacher before whistling ''You're the worst class in school. At least try to be good at sports, it doesn't take too much thinking."

"Hey Lulu, shall we get together?" asks Eliott, smiling.

''No, come with me!'' begs Idriss ''Sofiane is too strong for me, I'm sick of losing all the time with him.''

Lucas looks at them in turn. He knows that he should choose Idriss to put some distance between him and Eliott. But if he has to be honest with himself, he knows he doesn't want to put any distance between him and Eliott. And that's why he must absolutely do it. Holy shit, this is so fucked up.

''Eliott, are you coming with me?'' asks Lucille, taking his hand.

''Sorry, he's with me.'' answers Lucas before even thinking about what he's saying.

Eliott lets go of Lucille's hand, grabs a ball and grabs Lucas' wrist to pull him further. Eliott has a fucking smile on his face and Lucas feels proud to say it's because of him. This is the first time Lucas is happy during a sports class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In France, gifted children or high-potential children are nicknamed zebras. I don't know if it's the same in other countries.


	4. Manage all

Lucas thinks about the sport class all night long. At what point did he think it was a good idea to get close to Eliott like that? He started school this morning and there are already at least two people who hate him. Samuel finally came back to class, his lip was totally swollen, and Lucille spent the whole sport class staring at Lucas. 

But fortunately, Idriss and Sofiane are very nice. Idriss doesn't look at all like his sister: he talks a lot of bullshit and likes to draw attention to himself, but he's really funny. Sofiane is much calmer and composed. You don't have to observe them for long to see that a beautiful friendship unites the three of them: Idriss, Sofiane...and Eliott.

Lucas tries not to think about him since he came back. He went to lock himself directly in his room. When Christelle offered him dinner, he said he wasn't hungry and locked the door of his room with a key. The truth is that he is too upset. He has just done a test on "areyougay.fr" and he doesn't know what to think about it. He started writing down his real answers, and the test told him he was "probably gay" except that Lucas doesn't want to be gay. His father would never accept him. What if his friends wouldn't either? He doesn't want everyone to give him up. He doesn't want to be an outsider. He's not even like all those gays who are always glowing and happy, who love to put on makeup, sequined tops, or even women's clothes and show off their pride in being gay at pride marches. Frankly, Lucas has nothing against them, but he's not like them at all. He can never be proud to be gay. So he took the test again, changed a few answers, and now it says he's "probably straight."

Except that a straight guy wouldn't think so much of another guy. He wouldn't want to caress himself while thinking about him, while thinking about his lips. How much he would like to kiss them. How much he would like to undress and touch them. How happy he is that Lucille feels in danger, because clearly he wants to be a danger for her. He wants Eliott all to himself. He would want Eliott to be there, in his bed, touching him.

Lucas sighs as he closes his eyes, slips his hand into his boxer shorts, remembering Eliott's face, his smile, and the perfect curve of his buttocks in his sports shorts. He knows it's wrong to think of Eliott while caressing himself like that, but it's also so good. Maya cries in the corridor and Lucas stops immediately with a sigh. He can't even jerk off properly in this shitty house. 

He caresses himself for a few minutes while closing his eyes but the little girl's tears prevent him from thinking properly so he swears, takes back his computer and types ''Eliott Demaury'' on google. He falls on an online jackpot for a project and watches the Polaris video while Maya is still crying. He takes out his headphones and turns up the sound but despite that, his half-sister's crying totally ruins the video. 

Then he gets up, furious at not having any privacy, furious at being bothered by a child he didn't want and opens his door screaming.

''What the fuck is that? I'm trying to work."

Maya runs right up to him screaming.

''Mom. Floor. Mom.''

Lucas follows her into the kitchen. Christelle is lying on the floor, unconscious and yet he sees nothing : no wounds, no blood, nothing. Maya hits his leg, as if to make him react and Lucas grabs the phone to call for help. 

He doesn't even know what happened so he can hardly say anything about the situation, he can only confirm that yes, she is breathing, but no, she is not reacting. He does whatever the paramedics ask him to do, gently pulling her aside, while trying to reassure Maya that she is not letting go of his leg.

The paramedics take Christelle away and Lucas gets angry because he can't even reach his father. 

''And this little one? Is she your sister? Should we call someone to take care of her?"

Lucas looks at the little blue-eyed blonde girl, still hanging on to his leg, and for the first time since he met her, he holds her in his arms.

''She's my little sister, I'll take care of her.''

Lucas spends the night trying to call his father, to no avail, and the hospital won't give him any news about Christelle because they are not related. He ends up falling asleep from exhaustion around 5am, Maya already sleeping in his arms for several hours. 

And that's why when he arrives at the school at 8 am after having dropped Maya at the daycare, he has a head to frighten. He knows that he has his features drawn and he didn't even take the time to do his hair this morning, but he doesn't care. He slumps down on his chair and Eliott gives him a light elbow.

''Are you okay, Lucas? You don't look good."

Lucas shakes his head, tears in his eyes and swallows too hard. He called his father's work and told him he was on vacation this week. Lucas is confused. Well, he understands that too well. His dad was probably with another woman. And he was jerking off while Maya was crying in front of her unconscious mother and it made him want to vomit. His behavior makes him want to vomit. 

Eliott puts his hand on his own and smiles softly at him.

"Can I help you?"

Lucas removes his hand violently and turns his head towards the window.

''You would help me by staying away, Eliott. Fuck."

Eliott pulls his chair back, sighs, and grabs his stuff. Lucas puts his head in his hands and sighs. Sure enough, Eliott has gone to sit down towards Lucille, and it's much better that way. 

For two minutes, Lucas closes his eyes, trying not to be disappointed that Eliott left so easily, and regretting having spoken to him so meanly when he wanted to help him. 

''Lucas, haven't you seen Eliott?'' asks Idriss ''I saw him in the courtyard this morning but he's not there''.

Lucas raises his head and looks in the classroom, indeed, Eliott is not there. Lucas was convinced that he was going to move in next to Lucille, but in fact no, he just left. 

''I don't know.''

Idriss shrugs his shoulders and goes to sit next to Sofiane who apparently tries to call Eliott without success.

Lucas' phone rings at 9:15 in the middle of French class and Lucas walks out of the class without even asking permission, already answering the call.

''Christelle?''

''Lucas? Are you alright? I'm sorry, Lucas, I know you shouldn't have taken care of Maya.''

Lucas shakes his head and sighs of relief.

''She's fine, don't worry about it.''

''I know, Lucas, I called the daycare just before to see if she was there. You're really great, Lucas. You saved my life."

Lucas wants to cry. Because no, he's not great. He's just a horrible guy. He feels awful.

''Are you okay, Christelle?''

''I'm fine. My appendix ruptured and there was a lot of damage, and I heard I had a head injury from falling, but I'm okay. They operated on me and they say I'll be out in a week."

''I can't tell my father, he does not answer.''

Lucas doesn't miss the slight sigh in the phone.

''I know. Don't worry, I'll ask my mom to come get Maya.''

Lucas shakes his head. He knows that Christelle's parents live near Marseille.

''No, it's okay, I'll take care of her. Don't worry, I swear I'll take care of her."

A slight noise is heard on the phone and Lucas assumes it's an expression of joy.

''I trust you, Lucas. Thank you very much. I knew you would be a wonderful big brother. Thank you Lucas."

Lucas returns to class with the shocked eyes of the other students. He whispers to the teacher, who nods his head, patting his shoulder and nods back to his seat. Eliott does not come back from the day. Lucas tries to call his father several times but he never answers. So at 5:00 pm, after the last class, Lucas picks up Maya at the daycare and they both go to the hospital to see Christelle.

But when they both meet again, at the apartment, around 6:15 pm, Maya seems lost. 

''Mom?''

Lucas sighs as he looks at the little girl totally lost.

''She has to stay in the hospital again, Maya, the doctors are taking care of her.''

''Dad?''.

Lucas sighs and takes the little girl in his arms before sitting on the couch, holding her against him. 

''Dad's an asshole. I'm sorry, you don't deserve a father like that."

Lucas sighs again as Maya points and smiles at him.

''Yeah, I didn't deserve that either, I know. We're just both just unlucky."

''Lucas.''

Lucas smiles, it's the first time he's ever heard her call him, and frankly, he thought she didn't even know his name.

''Here I am, princess. We're both going to be okay. I'm gonna take care of you."

The doorbell rings, and Lucas even lets out a high-pitched scream that makes the little girl laugh. He gets up, but Maya clings to him like a koala bear. The door of the building doesn't close any more so anyone can enter the building, but Lucas is still surprised when he discovers Eliott behind the door. 

Eliott is standing on the landing with a sweet smile on his lips and Lucas thinks to himself that he must look like a real mess before even wondering why Eliott is there.

''Math tutor? Did you forget?"

Lucas nods but pushes himself aside to let him in.

''Yeah. Sorry. I've been having a lot of trouble. And then since you weren't in class today, I didn't think about it at all."

Eliott takes his coat off with a smile on his face.

''I needed some time alone. I get that sometimes. But don't worry, I always come back."

Eliott laughs softly before pointing at Maya.

''Do you babysit too?''

Lucas shakes his head laughing and puts Maya on the floor and runs off to her room.

''That's my half-sister. Her mother fainted last night and I had to call 911. It was a real mess. She had to have surgery, but she's going to be okay."

Eliott frowns.

"Where's your dad?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

''No idea. I've tried to reach him a million times. He's an asshole."

''Daddy, ass-hole!'' Maya screams happily as she walks back to them.

Lucas bursts out laughing and nods.

''You see, even at 2 years old, she understood.''

Eliott laughs then looks at Lucas again.

''Can I help you?''

Lucas looks at Eliott, smiling and beckons him to move into the living room.

''I'm sorry about this morning, Eliott, I shouldn't have come at you. I was worried and angry, but I shouldn't have said that. The worst part is, I didn't even mean it."

Eliott puts his hand on Lucas' hand, smiling, and pulls out a math book.

''It's okay Lucas, I understand better now. Don't worry about it. I know I'm too intense sometimes. Well, I missed five weeks of classes in the first quarter, so I might as well go back to basics."

Lucas sits in the chair in front of Eliott and gives Maya blank paper and pens to keep her busy while they work.

''Why did you miss so much?''

Eliott seems to hesitate and then shakes his head.

"A few worries. Well, where I'm at my worst is in problem solving."

Lucas grabs the book and shakes his head.

''Okay, let's start with that then.''

For an hour, Eliott really tries to work, but then he totally stalls. He draws a raccoon in a corner of Maya's sheet, then she applauds, asking again so he draws an owl. 

''Look, that's you, Maya. Because the owl has big eyes, just like you. And then I made a nice heart-shaped face because you're so cute."

Lucas looks at Eliott surprised. He never thought Eliott would be in adoration in front of a two year old girl. Maya looks at him as if he was a God and even if he understands it, he is almost jealous that Maya gets along so quickly, as well with Eliott.

''Lucas!"

Eliott looks at Lucas then takes a big smile.

''I have to think, princess. I don't want to make a mistake. Lucas needs something special."

Maya nods as if she understands and Lucas bursts out laughing.

''Okay, Maya, I'll make you something to eat. Are you coming?"

Eliott gets up and goes into the kitchen at the same time as them.

''Do you want me to help you? We eat, put Maya to bed and then we can continue working if you want. Or just hang out."

In theory, Lucas should say no and Eliott should leave. That would avoid any ambiguous situations. But Lucas doesn't want to be alone, and besides he feels so good with Eliott. So Lucas nods and hands Eliott a pan.

''Okay, let's do that. I'm warning you, I'm only cooking pasta."

Eliott puts the pot down and opens the fridge and then he takes out too many ingredients.

''Okay, I'm gonna make a masterful sauce.''

Lucas thinks about it again when he tastes the said sauce. It is anything but masterful. Maya spits out before eating the pasta which is not contaminated by the sauce.

''What did you put in it?''

"Tomatoes, chorizo, raspberries and peppers."

Lucas is scowling and grinning.

''Where did you get raspberries? And especially when you thought it would be good to mix chorizo with raspberries?''

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and they burst out laughing. Finally Lucas finds some leftover mashed potatoes for Maya and they order a pizza. Maya falls asleep in Lucas' arms, refusing to lie down while he chats with Eliott while drinking a beer. 

Once the pizza is finished, Lucas gets up and carries Maya to his bed before coming back with his hands hidden in his back and a big smile on his face.

''If it's a math textbook you're hiding, I'm leaving right now, it's too late for that.''

Lucas laughs as he points to the bag of weed he's holding in his hands. On the bag he gave him, Arthur wrote: _For Lucas, if it's too hard, just relax and think of us._

"Do you want some? Do you smoke?"

Eliott nods with a smile and Lucas rolls the joint listening to the horrible music coming out of Eliott's phone. Eliott says that dubstep is the best music possible and Lucas agrees, if it means that Eliott keeps shaking his head all over the place singing anything.

Eliott finally turns his music down and sits on the couch right next to Lucas who hands him the joint. Lucas leaves his head resting on the back of the couch sighing, letting his mind and body relax. Eliott spits out two rings of smoke before starting to laugh. 

Lucas retrieves the joint and imitates it, sending a ring of smoke in his face and Eliott straightens to be closer to Lucas. 

"A little genius who smokes, I never would have believed it."

Lucas sighs rolling his eyes.

''I'm not little, damn it. And I'm not a genius, it's just easy for me to learn. It was my dad who wanted to skip grades for me, I would have stayed with my friends. I hate that everybody thinks I'm the baby in the class."

Eliott reaches out to touch something in Lucas' hair and Lucas realizes he has stopped breathing.

"So even though your dad's an asshole, I should thank him because without him I wouldn't have met you. And I think that would have been really to bad."

Lucas chuckles.

''Too bad about your math average?''

Eliott chuckles as he gets a little closer to Lucas.

''No. Because I couldn't have done that.''

Eliott leans over extremely gently, his gaze not leaving Lucas'. Lucas stares at him, his heart resonating in his ears and he can't move because he really wants to. He should move away and push Eliott away, explaining to him that he is not gay, but he already knows he will regret it for the rest of his life. He just needs to stop lying to himself and admit that he really wants to do it too. Eliott stops as if to give him time to think and Lucas take a big smile on his face.

''I never had a girlfriend.''

His confession makes Eliott smile even harder and Lucas moves forward gently, chuckling at his own lie. The front door slams against the wall, startling them both.

''Lucas!''

Lucas gets up immediately and joins his father in the entrance. 

''Why don't you answer? I was worried sick. Where is Maya?''

Lucas sighs. Of course his father doesn't give a damn about how he's doing, and how he's handled all this.

''And what the fuck is that smell? Are you smoking?''

His father walks into the living room where Eliott is sitting on the floor in front of a math textbook. There's no trace of grass, and the open window takes the smell with it.

''Who is it? Lucas, what the hell is going on? Where's Maya?"

''She's sleeping, Dad. She's fine, I took care of her. It's Eliott, I'm tutoring him in math."

His father turns to him and frowns.

''At 11:00 p.m.? Are you kidding me? Lucas, what are you doing?"

''We were late because of Maya.'' says Eliott softly ''Lucas wanted her to eat something balanced so I helped him cook, hence the smell, I put a little too much herbes de provence. Afterwards, it took her a long time to fall asleep but Lucas insisted on making me study as planned, we just didn't see the hour go by. I'm going to go."

Eliott gets up and picks up his textbooks that he stuffs in his bag.

''Thank you Lucas. I borrowed your math bag, I'll give it back tomorrow, okay?"

Lucas understands the message and nods his head and smiles. He slips a ''Thank you'' when Eliott walks by. 

"See you tomorrow, Lucas."

Lucas closes the door with a sigh, watching Eliott leave before turning back to his father.

''I've been trying to call you all night last night and today.''

His father looks at him with a sigh.

''Well, I'm here now.''

Lucas looks at the kitchen where Christelle was lying on the floor last night.

''I was scared, dad. I didn't know what to do. Not to mention how to take care of Maya."

His father laughs before turning his back on him to go to his room.

''Oh, Lucas, you're gonna have to toughen up and become a man.''

Lucas watches his father leave for his room and laughs as Lucas slowly creeps into Maya's room to give her a kiss on the forehead.

''Good night princess.''

He goes back to his room and spends hours listing in his head all the reasons why he hates his father. 


	5. Afraid

When he wakes up the next morning, his father has disappeared. Maya waits nicely in his bed and welcomes Lucas with a huge smile. Lucas looks quickly into the kitchen and the living room, but there are no words from his father explaining where he is. He tries to call him, but of course his father doesn't answer.   
So he eats breakfast with Maya before preparing her and drops her off at daycare before going to high school. 

Eliott is waiting at the school gate with a huge smile on his face. 

''Hi, Lucas. You're fine?''

Lucas nods his head and smiles. He can't stop smiling when he sees the big smile on Eliott's lips.

''Shall we go?''

They join Idriss and Sofiane who are talking in the courtyard.

''Hey guys! The biology teacher is absent!" rejoices Idriss. "It's the first week and we already have 2 hours less in this class."

Eliott's smile becomes even bigger even though Lucas thought it was impossible.

''Are we taking Lucas out?"

Lucas looks at Eliott with a frown on his face.

''Are we allowed?''

Eliott shakes his head and laughs.

''No, normally we have to go to the library but who cares, right? I'd like to show you a place that I love."

''Eliott.'' says Sofiane softly, ''Don't start that shit. Please, Lucas, don't encourage him."

Eliott frowns but Sofiane doesn't seem impressed at all, and Idriss even starts laughing.

''Come on Eliott, we're doing this for your own good. Lucas, it's up to you, but Eliott he's coming with us to the library, even if I have to take him there by force."

Lucas looks at Eliott's sad face as he imagines himself far away from high school with Lucas. And strangely enough, Lucas also imagined himself far away from here, away from prying eyes, to pick up where they left off last night.

Lucas beckons Eliott to follow him to the library, and he settles down right next to him.

''Do you have any plans this afternoon? I'm not picking up Maya until 5:00 and I'd love to...I...''

Lucas stops. Is he really telling Eliott that he wants to spend time alone with him? Eliott giggles and gently caresses his cheek.

''I'd like that too. I can't wait."

Lucas smiles and bends over to look at what Eliott is drawing.

''It's really beautiful. So, did you figure out how you would draw me?"

Eliott takes a big smile and raises his eyebrows.

"Maybe."

After that, Sofiane comes to ask questions about the French course and they have a good time talking. Idriss talks about a movie with Eliott so Lucas leaves the table and walks around the shelves looking for new books. He finds several and takes a big satisfied smile.

Finally, the two hours go by really fast. And the rest of the morning goes by just as fast. When 12:30 rings, Eliott looks at Lucas and they talk just with their eyes, both of them happy to finally be able to spend some time alone. 

Lucas freezes as soon as he passes the school gate. He stands gawking on the sidewalk while Basile, Arthur and Yann scream with joy.

"Lulu! Surprise! We wanted to see your new school!"

''We're gonna get a fucking video game!'' Basile promises.

''I missed you, man.'' Yann says, taking him in his arms. 

Lucas looks at Eliott who slowly moves away from him.

''Eliott, wait, I"

Eliott shakes his head as he waves to the guys.

''Don't worry, enjoy your friends and call me if you have time afterwards. I had something to do anyway."

Lucas doesn't believe a word of it, but he doesn't have time to think about the guys taking him out to eat. 

"Are you all right, Lulu?" asks Yann while Arthur and Basile are waiting for their orders. "You've lost weight. You look sad and preoccupied."

"You look like shit!" said Arthur as he slipped in next to Lucas.

''Yeah!'' confirms Basile ''but we love you anyway. So, tell us what's going on. It's your father?''

Lucas looks at them and hesitates.

''You can tell us everything, Lucas.''

Lucas looks at Yann then sighs.

''What if I told you I'm gay.''

Basile bursts out laughing but Arthur gives him an elbow when he sees Lucas' serious face.

Yann leans over the table and nods.

''It looks like we don't give a damn. You want to tell us about a particular guy in high school?"

Lucas sighs. 

''Yeah. Eliott. I think I'm in love with him."

Arthur and Basile begin to scream with joy while Yann nods softly.

"What does he think?"

"We almost kissed last night, but then my father came home and ruined it. But I think he likes me. I'm fine with him."

Yann shakes his head as he looks up at the sky.

''But why are you still here, then? Okay, you finish eating and call him to join him. We'll see you on Friday, okay. Anyway, I told Emma I'd stop by to see her."

Lucas shakes his head looking at Basile and Arthur.

''You guys came all the way out here for me, I'm not going to go and throw myself in some guy's arms. I'm not the kind of guy who lets his friends down."

''For a girl, I would do it without hesitation!'' says Arthur ''You are 16 years old, Lucas! Of course you're that kind of guy! All four of us are that kind of guy!"

''Eliott, he's kind of cute!'' continues Basile. ''You should have left by now!''

Lucas still finishes his meal with his friends before sending a message to Eliott. He receives geographic coordinates in reply and goes there immediately after leaving the guys.

He finds himself in a kind of forest in the heart of Paris and wonders if there is not an error in the location when he sees him : The bridge of the Polaris project. 

Eliott is sitting, leaning against a pillar of the bridge and he is drawing quietly.

''Hello. It's beautiful here. Where are we?"

Eliott raises his head while smiling and Lucas sits down beside him.

''This is my favorite place here.'' Eliott says softly ''This is where I come when I am alone.''

Lucas chuckles as he looks at Eliott.

''Are you taking someone to a place you like to come alone?''

Eliott smiles while nodding his head.

''Yeah. Cause with you it's different. I feel different with you. I've never brought anyone here before, you're the first one.''

Lucas rolls his eyes.

''And Lucille?''

Eliott grabs his forearm and shakes his head before looking Lucas in the eyes.

''You're the first one.''

Lucas smiles and look at Eliott's lips before looking at him again in his eyes.

''Do you come here often?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and then nods his head.

''Yeah, whenever real life gets too much. Sometimes I need to be in the middle of the world and the noise, but sometimes I need to be alone, quiet."

''Were you here yesterday?''

Eliott gently shakes his head and Lucas bites his lower lip.

''Were you angry with me?''

Eliott looks at Lucas shaking his head and gently caresses his cheek.

''No! I was angry at me, for pushing you, for not seeing that I was too... I'm used to being too much, you know. Too intense, too intrusive, too hard to live with."

Lucas shakes his head in turn and sighs.

''It had nothing to do with you, you know. I'm really sorry."

There's a slight silence after that and then Eliott clears his throat.

''Where's your favorite place?"

"I don't have one."

Eliott frowns and turns a little more to face Lucas.

''Of course we all have one. If you close your eyes, where would you want to go?"

Lucas closes his eyes and sighs.

''In another universe. A parallel universe where my dad isn't an asshole, where my mom isn't sick, where my mind isn't an ambient whorehouse."

Eliott chuckles.

''Another universe, huh? It's weird, right? Can you imagine yourself in another world?"

Lucas nods gently.

''Yeah. I hope there's a Lucas in another universe who's living a better life than I am. Who's less afraid."

Eliott leans over, just enough to put his forehead against his.

''Are you afraid, Lucas? Are you afraid of me sometimes?''

Lucas hesitates. He could say that he is not afraid and pass for a man, as his father would say, or he could tell the truth.

''I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid of what you make me feel. ''

Eliott nods softly as he caresses Lucas' cheek.

''It's okay, you know. I promise never to hurt you, Lucas. I'm sure that in all your universes, there is an Eliott who looks at you with a smile on his face and imagines kissing you.''

Lucas nods and leans over to Eliott's lips. As soon as their lips touch, Lucas feels stupid for being scared, because it's just perfect. Eliott holds his face in both hands and Lucas slides his hands behind Eliott's neck. When Eliott's tongue comes to touch his own, Lucas makes a moan that would leave him feeling ashamed if Eliott didn't moan back as he does.

''Do you want to come to my house?''

Eliott nods and they stand up while kissing and then walk towards each other, holding hands. As soon as they walk through the apartment door, Eliott slams Lucas against the front wall while taking off his jacket. Lucas throws Eliott's jacket before taking his hand to take him to his room. By dint of kisses, Lucas finds himself lying on his bed, Eliott straddles him, gently undressing him.

''We can do whatever you want, baby.''

For the first time, Lucas likes to be called baby.

''Touch me."

Eliott slides his hand into Lucas' boxer shorts and gently caresses him. Lucas closes his eyes, his hips moving slightly as if to respond to Eliott's caresses. He is not afraid. In Eliott's hands, he is no longer afraid.

He reopens his eyes and when his gaze crosses Eliott's, he wonders why he tried to fight it.


	6. Help

Lucas doesn't really remember falling asleep. His cheeks turn red when he remembers what they did with Eliott. How Eliott touched him, how he touched Eliott, and especially how Eliott came and moaned his name before huddling up to him.

Eliott's phone rings again in his jeans, on the floor and Lucas understands that this is what woke him up. Eliott doesn't even seem to hear it because he is so sound asleep. Lucas grabs the jeans and pulls out the phone. He turns the ringer off to make sure it doesn't wake up Eliott, but his heart tightens a little when he sees that it's Lucille calling Eliott.

Lucas sees the time and drops the phone on the bed.

"Shit, I'm late. I have to go get Maya."

Eliott turns around and grunts, trying to catch Lucas but he has already got out of bed.

''I have to go get Maya, I'm already late. Slam the door on the way out."

Eliott sits down, grabs his phone which rings again and turns the ringer off before putting the phone on the bedside table. Eliott huddles under the blanket, visibly tired and Lucas can't resist kissing him before leaving.

"Normally, it's the one who doesn't live here who leaves in a hurry.''

Lucas laughs and kisses Eliott a second time before leaving. He arrives 35 minutes late at the daycare, but Maya plays quietly. He had vaguely hoped that his father had come to pick her up and he immediately feels stupid for having thought that. 

He wonders if Eliott will still be in bed by the time he gets near the building, but Eliott leaves the building just as Lucas is about to open the door. Eliott has a beautiful smile on his lips and his smile gets even bigger when he sees Lucas.

''Hi, you. Hello, Maya."

Lucas smiles and Eliott gently caresses his cheek. Eliott kisses Lucas who is slightly startled, surprised. Anyone can see them in the street and Lucas moves back slowly but Eliott doesn't even seem to notice it because he is so happy.

"See you tomorrow, baby."

Lucas walks back up to the apartment with a huge smile on his face, Maya walking next to him. He closes the front door behind them but it immediately opens again and slams so hard against the wall that the handle surely leaves a mark. Lucas steps back when he sees his father's face and gently pushes Maya into the living room. Lucas knows this face all too well. He doesn't have time to turn around to face his father as he is pushed against the wall.

''Fucking faggot of shit!''

His father punches him in the face which pushes Lucas against the wall of the entrance, causing Maya to sob.

''You're going to become a man, Lucas. Your mother was too kind to you. My son is not gay!"

His dad hits him again, then two more and Lucas loses count. His arm hurts so much that he can't even move his hand without feeling excruciating pain. He tries to stand up but his father punches him in the stomach and he falls to the ground. Maya approaches by shouting a "Lucas" and their father pushes her violently in the living room. The little girl hits her head on the living room table and falls to the floor without a sound.

''Look what you have done, Lucas!'' shouts their father, hitting him once more. 

Lucas gets up in spite of the pain, the sight completely blurred by the tears and he has the impression that his head is going to explode but he rushes towards Maya who still does not cry.

''Call for help, damn it.''

Lucas looks at his father who opens his eyes, realizing what he has just done. Lucas panics when he sees blood on Maya's dress, but he realizes it is his own. He takes his phone out of his pocket but the screen is broken.

''Call for help!''

Lucas feels his father's hand resting violently on his shoulder and he pushes him away without even knowing where he got this strength. His father loses his balance when he hits the couch and ends up on the floor. Lucas recovers Maya on the floor, crosses the landing and puts her in the arms of the neighbor who opens the door grumbling because Lucas does not take his finger off the doorbell before seeing her. And then Lucas faints.

When he regains consciousness, he's in an ambulance and he panics outright so he tries to pull out all the wires that are connected to him, yanking out a cry of pain when he moves his arm.

''It's all right, it's over. It's all right, Lucas."

Lucas is held against the gurney by the paramedic and tries to breathe to calm down. 

''Your dad went off with the police, Lucas. You're safe now."

Lucas shakes his head with tears in his eyes. He'll never be safe. He has nowhere to go. He has no family. 

''And Maya?''

The paramedic smiles at him as he puts his hand on his shoulder.

''She's in the ambulance in front of us. She regained consciousness at the neighbor's but she will be monitored for a head injury. Where is her mother?"

Lucas tries to think, but his head hurts so much that he closes his eyes.

''Lucas, do you know where his mother is? The neighbor said she hasn't seen her for several days."

Lucas doesn't even open his eyes to answer.

''In the hospital, she was operated on, she was supposed to be released tomorrow. Christelle Rutorier."

A hand delicately caresses his shoulder.

''And your mother?"

Lucas shakes his head but stops because it makes his headache worse.

''She is sick. Schizophrenia. She's in an institution waiting to get better."

Lucas just wants to fall asleep but he hears one of the paramedics whispering "Poor kid". Sleep doesn't want him, so he imagines himself in another universe: A universe where his father would have agreed to let him go to Manon's roommate. A universe where he wouldn't have skipped classes. Maybe there is a universe where Lucas is happy. Maybe there is a universe where Lucas feels safe. A universe where two boys can kiss without causing violence.

''Is there someone we can call for you, Lucas?''

Lucas wipes a tear from the corner of his eye by nodding his head. He has no home, no family, but he knows exactly who to call to feel a little better.

''Yes, please.''


	7. Pain

Lucas hears his voice before he sees him. The paramedics called him and he just heard him say he was coming as soon as he could. He knew he would say that. He knew he would come. But now that he hears his worried voice, Lucas almost regrets calling him. Did he really need to be confronted with all this crap?

''I'm here for Lucas Lallemant.''

When he finally sees him, he notices right away that he has been crying. His eyes are red and there are still traces of tears on his face, but he is trying to show that he is strong in the face of this whole situation. At least he wants to be strong for Lucas. 

''My Lucas.''

Lucas huddles in his arms and cries.

''It's okay, Lulu, I'm here. Thank you for calling me. It's gonna be okay now, all right? My parents are here, so as soon as you can get out, you can come home."

Lucas is crying some more. He doesn't want to go to Yann's. He wants to go home. He wants to have a real family, too. He wants to have a place of his own. He wants a favorite place. 

He cries thinking about Eliott. He doesn't even know when he can see him again. Because it's clear that Lucas has to protect Eliott from himself. If Eliott finds out what just happened to Lucas, he will blame himself, he will say it's his fault and Lucas doesn't want that. And he doesn't want Eliott to see him like that. 

He goes back to sleep, Yann hugging him but he doesn't even feel any better. He thought that he would feel protected if Yann was near him, but he doesn't. So, he clings to the idea that at least he is not alone. he doesn't have time to really rest until the doctors wake him up to tell him that he needs to be operated on because he has a shoulder fracture. He allows himself to be dragged through the corridors on his hospital bed and closes his eyes, trying to imagine himself far, very far away from here.

''Lucas.''

Lucas looks at Christelle who walks towards him and takes his hand. She has obviously cried for hours because she looks awful and Lucas starts crying when he sees her, already imagining the worst.

''She's fine, Lucas. Thanks to you, Maya's fine. I feel so bad, I should have protected you instead of him. He hit me the other night, that's what caused my appendix to rupture so quickly. I had just found out he was cheating on me and I was ashamed. But if I had pressed charges, he couldn't have done this to you. I'm really sorry, Lucas. I told the police everything tonight. I'm sorry."

Lucas shakes his hand gently while the porter warns that they have to take the elevator.

"Protect her."

Christelle nods her head and lets go of Lucas' hand as he leaves for the operating room. He does not struggle at all against the anaesthesia, on the contrary, he is rather happy to feel himself leaving. Because he wants to live in another universe. 

When he reopens his eyes, he is in the recovery room, surrounded by a dozen people who emerge. He looks at his bandaged shoulder and sighs.

''I too used to fight when I was young, and it never did any good.''

Lucas looks at the grandfather lying on the bed next to his. He almost reminds him of his maternal grandfather who died three years ago: bald on top of his head, a pointed nose but a big smile.

"When I was young, I once got 10 stitches in my hand when I hit a guy who wanted to steal my moped. I hurt myself more than I managed to hurt him. And you, what was the story?"

Lucas looks at him without any expression on his face. He's just tired of it all. Tired of living.

''I didn't put up a fight. My dad beat me. Because I like guys."

Lucas looks at the old man's reaction. He expects to see him wince. He already imagines all the ways the old man would tell him that he deserved it, but the old man takes a sorry smile. 

''I'm sad to see that some men are still so narrow-minded. In my day, a father would have killed his son without hesitation for the same reason. But now I thought the world was more open. Come on, smile, kid, it's not your fault. Don't let some jerk destroy you, even if it's your father. Don't worry, little one, like a great man said " _If you go through hell, keep moving_.''

Lucas looks at him smiling.

''In fact, Winston Churchill was a rather small man. Less than 5'7" I think.''

The old man looks at Lucas with a funny smile and straightens up a little to sit on his bed.

''It's funny, now that you mention it, I realize that most great men were small. You know who said: _Some people will reject you because the light is too bright for them. That's just the way it is. Just keep shining_. ?"

Lucas chuckles and holds his arm by reflex, but it doesn't really hurt.

"Martin Luther King."

The old man thinks and rubs his forehead. Decidedly, he reminds Lucas a lot of his grandfather.

"Ah, I've got a harder one : _In life, you always have a choice: love or hate, assume or run away, confess or lie, be yourself or pretend._ "

Lucas takes a big smile. He loves this quote. It has never felt truer to him than it does now.

''Nelson Mandela.''

The old man takes a huge smile.

''Nice to meet you, kid. I'm Louis."

''Lucas."

The nurse slowly approaches the old man and smiles at him.

"Mr. Cailleaud, your wife is waiting for you. Shall we go?"

He nods his head before smiling at Lucas.

"The love of my life is waiting for me. I hope you'll find yours, kid. Hang in there. One day someone will hold you so tightly that all your broken pieces will stick together."

The nurse looks at him and smiles.

''It's beautiful, who is it from?''

Louis shrugs his shoulders and smiles. Lucas watches him leave on his hospital bed then he closes his eyes and Eliott's smile comes back to him so he sighs. He looks at where Louis was a few minutes before. It's funny how sometimes chance encounters can help you when you need it. 

When he goes back up to his room, Yann is there, a big smile on his face. He hands him his cell phone.

"Here, I put your card in it, yours is dead. I'll take my old phone back. Tomorrow I'll get you a new one."

Lucas thanks him and takes him in his arms with his valid arm before Yann leaves, promising to come back the next day after school. 

Lucas turns on his phone and receives several messages from Eliott who is surprised not to hear from him. Lucas sighs but doesn't answer and puts his phone on the bedside table. 

He falls asleep thanks to the medication and when he wakes up the next day, it must be past noon because the tray is waiting on the table in front of him. He looks up and meets Eliott's eyes.

Eliott is standing in his hospital room and looks devastated.

"How did you know where I was?"

Eliott blinks twice but keeps staring at Lucas.

"Lucas, what happened?"

"How did you know I was here?"

Eliott moves closer to the bed but doesn't dare to touch Lucas.

''You weren't in class and nobody had any news. Idriss called Imane but she said we had to leave you alone so I went to your house and your neighbor told me you were there. What happened, Lucas?"

Lucas puts his head down and looks at his harnessed arm.

''My dad saw us.''

Eliott takes a step back, shaking his head, looking totally scared.

''No? No, that's not possible. I didn't mean to do this to you, Lucas."

Lucas stands up with a grimace and extends his valid hand to try to grab Eliott's arm. Eliott could take a step back and Lucas would have to let go of him, but he doesn't. Lucas doesn't know if it's because Eliott wants to stay with him, or just because he feels sorry for him and doesn't want to take advantage of the fact that he can't move out of bed, but he doesn't care. He's holding Eliott tight, hoping that's enough to make him stay.

''You didn't do it, Eliott, he did it. I told you he was an asshole. It wasn't the first time. It's not your fault. It's not our fault."

Eliott shakes his head. There's something on Eliott's face that hurts to see. Something Lucas was sure to find: guilt.

''I'm really sorry Lucas. I should have listened to him, I should have stayed away from you. It's me, Lucas. Everything I touch is toxic. She was right. Everyone around me is suffering.''

Lucas shakes his head, tears in his eyes. He knows very well that Eliott is talking about Lucille and he doesn't want to hear that. He doesn't want to imagine that Lucille could have told Eliott that he is toxic. And seeing how sure Eliott is of him, she must have told him only once.

''You're not toxic, Eliott, but why would you say such things?''

"I'm bipolar, Lucas.''

Lucas wants to shrug his shoulders but it hurts him terribly so he grimace painfully.

''So what?''

Eliott looks him in the eyes and he almost looks worse than Lucas.

''So I'm out of control. I'm going to hurt you, Lucas. I'm going to yell at you and you don't deserve this. Look at the state you're in because of me. That's not nothing, Lucas. I'm insane.''

Lucas shakes his head and pulls Eliott's arm to get closer to him.

''You're not insane, Eliott. My mom has schizophrenia and as hard as it is for her, she's not insane and I love her. I don't care about your illness, Eliott. You make me feel good. For the first time in my life, I want to be myself. With you. I want to continue to feel what I feel when I am with you."

Eliott removes his arm from Lucas' grip without having time to react.

''I'm sorry, Lucas, I can't.''

Lucas tries to grab him again, but Eliott steps back and apologizes.

''Don't do it, Eliott! You can't go and take advantage of the fact that I can't get up and leave. So it was nothing for the two of us? Was it all for nothing?"

Eliott freezes and Lucas sees his chin shaking.

''I love you, Lucas. Since the first time I saw you, at Imane's house last summer. You arrived with her, laughing out loud, and I came out of their house. You didn't even see me, but when I saw you, my heart started beating faster. I never stopped thinking about you after that. And now that I've gotten to know you, I love you even more. But I love you too much to put you through all this. You don't deserve to suffer because of me. Don't tell me that I'm hurting you now by leaving, because I swear I'll hurt you more by staying in your life. I'm no good for you, Lucas. I'm no good for anyone."

Eliott leaves the room so fast that he bumps into the door. Lucas doesn't even try to call him, he knows it won't help. 


	8. Hope

Maybe Eliott will miss Lucas so much that he will come back and they can talk about it calmly. Lucas is still trying to convince himself that it can happen when Christelle and Maya arrive in his room, a big smile on their lips and Maya jumps out of her mother's arms to come and climb up Lucas' bed. 

''I brought you some things, Lucas. And there was a drawing on your bed. And I thought, you'd like that."

Lucas takes the paper. On top of it is a raccoon huddled in a bed against a hedgehog. _Universe_ _n° 84737 -_ _Eliott and Lucas are happy._

Eliott had to leave it there before leaving Lucas' room. That's when Lucas decides that he will be happy in this universe too. He will heal, go out, find Eliott and prove to him that they both have the right to be happy. Life is weird sometimes, less than a week ago, Lucas was looking for ways to convince himself that he wasn't gay, and now he's looking for ways to convince Eliott that they can be happy together. Because he wants to go back to sleep in Eliott's arms again. He wants to feel good about himself. He wants to feel safe.

He clings to that idea for two weeks. Two weeks without any news from Eliott. Finally, Sofiane and Idriss come to the hospital, taking with them some news: Eliott comes to class but he seems to be off and doesn't speak. Idriss says he is depressed but Lucas knows exactly what he has: he is heartbroken. Because Lucas has it too.   
Idriss and Sofiane bring him lessons, but also books and Idriss always finds a way to make Lucas laugh. Each time they come, Lucas hopes that they will have succeeded in convincing Eliott to come but it is never the case.

Yet Eliott did come, that's for sure. One morning Lucas woke up and there was a drawing on the table next to his bed. A raccoon and a hedgehog huddled together, sitting on the sand with lots of little hearts flying around them. _I wish you were right, Lucas, and that we were living in one of your parralele universe._

Lucas sends him several messages but even if Eliott reads them, they always remain unanswered.

Christelle and Maya went home after three days, but they come every night. Every time she walks through the bedroom door, Maya runs to Lucas' bed, tries to climb up and ends up sitting next to him, snuggling up to his able-bodied arm. Lucas finds himself waiting impatiently for the time of his visit. Sometimes Christelle stays and they talk a little, her and Lucas, and sometimes she just leaves them both. 

When the two of them get together, Lucas holds his little sister close to him and for a moment she gives him the tiny impression of having a family. Especially when she looks at him with her eyes as blue as Lucas'. But she always ends up having to leave to go home, and Lucas never talks about the subject that worries him the most: where will he go when he can get out?

Yann, Arthur and Basile come to spend Wednesday afternoons and Saturdays in the hospital room, taking with them video games, DVDs, sometimes grass they go out to smoke behind the hospital, but above all their good mood. And every time, they always end up talking about Eliott. 

''He's scared, Lucas. But I swear he's completely fallen for you. Idriss says that he asks about you every time he and Sofiane come to see you and that he gives the impression that he is not breathing properly until they tell him that you are better.''

Lucas looks at Basile and sighs. He knows well that it is Eliott who takes all the classes for him and who makes them go through Idriss and Sofiane, because at the top of each page, there is a little hedgehog drawn. It is as if Eliott wants to stay away from Lucas but he can't do it.

''So why doesn't he come? It's been two fucking weeks. I'm the one who's been beaten up like shit and he's the one who suffers the most. It's fucking bullshit."

''That's what loving an artist is all about,'' says Arthur. 

Lucas looks at him and rolls his eyes with a sigh. 

''What? It's true, isn't it? Artists are more sensitive than others."

''People with bipolarity are often very sensitive too,'' Basile explains, ''but I'm sure you'll manage to work things out, Lulu. He just has to stop thinking it's his fault."

"Come on, Lulu, tell me how I can help you," asks Yann, "Do you want me to go and get him by force? I'll do it, you know."

Lucas doesn't have time to answer that the door to his room opens, letting in a doctor and a lady in a suit who is holding a file against her.

''Sorry boys.'' said the doctor softly, ''I'm going to ask you to come out, we need to see Lucas alone.''

Lucas swallows as he sits on his bed. He knew this would happen. The doctors told him he could go out tomorrow and Lucas just nodded. But now that his father is being prosecuted for abuse and his mother is still in an institution, Lucas has nowhere to go. Christelle is not from his family., so there's no reason for him to go back to in her home.

Lucas watches his friends come out of the room before watching the woman walk towards him.

''Hi Lucas, I'm Marianne, I'm a social worker.''

Lucas nods his head, but he doesn't want to talk. Because he already knows what she's going to say and he doesn't want to hear it.

''Tomorrow you can go out, Lucas. There's no way you're going back to your dad's and your mom can't take care of you so I've been mandated to find you a foster household."

Lucas shakes his head. He doesn't want to go to a foster household. He doesn't belong in a fucking orphanage. He may have a shitty family, but he's not an orphan. He's heard enough awful stories to know he doesn't want to go there. And then he hates group living. He just wants to finish high school quietly. He can take care of himself.

''I have friends who can take me in.''

That's not entirely true, but she doesn't know that. Maybe he could stay for a while at Yann's or live on the couch of Manon's flatshare. But the woman shakes her head in turn.

''No, Lucas, that's impossible. You're not even 16 years old, you need a long-term solution. You have a place in a home in Rambouillet, and''

''What? But it's more than an hour from Paris! How do I deal with the school?"

"Your file will be transferred to the Rambouillet high school. I know it's hard to change during the year like that, but it's the only solution we have and''

The woman continues to talk to him about how it will be tomorrow but Lucas doesn't listen anymore. It's not worth it, because it's not going to happen. He won't go there.

''I'll pick you up at 9:30, okay, Lucas?''

Lucas doesn't make a move and the woman finally comes out of his room. As soon as the door closes, he gets out of bed and gets his things ready. 

Tomorrow when she comes, he won't be here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok...so tomorrow, we're going to change our point of view and see a little bit of Eliott to answer your question: but what the hell is Eliott doing?


	9. Parallel

  
Eliott looks at the calendar hanging above his bed. It's been 15 days since Lucas was beaten because of him. 15 fucking days. When Eliott thinks back, he sees himself again, walking happily home, spending the evening drawing with a smile on his face...and meanwhile, Lucas was hit so hard that his bones broke. And knowing what Lucas has gone through because of him makes him want to vomit. He will never be able to forget Lucas' bruised face. It's all because of their kiss. 

Sometimes when he's in bed, like this morning, he closes his eyes and tries to imagine one of Lucas' parallel worlds. But in every universe he imagines, he does shit and Lucas suffers: there is the universe where he goes back with Lucille under Lucas' sad eyes; the one where he doesn't tell him that he is bipolar and where Lucas discovers him during an episode and panics; the one where he hurts Lucas because his brain is so overexcited that he doesn't realize that he is hurting him; the one where he yells at Lucas when he just wants to help him; the one where Lucas is waiting for him but Eliott never comes because he can't get out of bed...

No really, Lucas doesn't deserve that. They have no possible happy future together. And that's precisely why Eliott has to stay away from him. But even if Lucas doesn't come to class yet, it's really hard to stay away from him like that. Eliott takes the classes for him, because he knows that Lucas doesn't want to fall behind, and he gives them to Sofiane and Idriss so that they can pass them on to Lucas. Eliott went to the hospital eleven times. Sometimes in the middle of the day, sometimes at night, but he turned around before he got to Lucas' room, remembering that Lucas deserves better. Except once. Once, 6 days ago. He couldn't resist the urge to see Lucas so he sneaked up to his room. Lucas was asleep, and Eliott wanted to kiss his tense face to help him relax. But instead, he just dropped off a drawing for Lucas and left. 

Because even if in every universe, Eliott makes shit, since 15 days he has been drawing happy raccoons and hedgehogs. They are riding their bikes, they are on a beach, in the middle of the forest, in a mongolfier or simply in a bed. He would so much like Lucas to be right. But what is certain is that in their universe, Lucas has suffered because of Eliott and it is out of the question to make him suffer even more.

Eliott looks at his phone and rereads all of Lucas' messages. He types a message to tell him that he loves him and then deletes it, as he always does. He doesn't have the right to be selfish like that. He puts the phone back on the mattress next to him and cowering under its cover. 

"Eliott, you should have left already, you're going to be late.''

Eliott doesn't even look at his mother. He continues to stare at the ceiling, letting his dark thoughts invade his head.

''Oh, Eliott.''

Eliott wants to tell her that he's not having an episode, that he's just heartbroken but he doesn't have the strength to do it. Maybe he is having an episode after all. It doesn't matter. He still has to stare at the wall of his bedroom, thinking of all the ways the Eliott of all universes make their Lucas suffer. 

His phone starts ringing, but Eliott doesn't even turn it over to see the caller. It's probably Sofiane who realizes that he won't be coming to class today. He hasn't missed a single class in the last two weeks to be able to take notes for Lucas, but today it's too difficult. 

''Do you want me to stay with you?''

''No. Go to work.''

His mother gently strokes his hair before kissing him.

''One text and I'm coming home, Eliott.''

Eliott closes his eyes in response and listens to his mother's footsteps as she walks away and then the apartment door slams shut, leaving him alone. 

His phone keeps ringing, and indicates that he is receiving several texts, so Eliott grunts, picks it up and throws it across the room. He just wants to be left alone. He just wants to feel sorry for himself like he does so well. 

He's almost asleep when his phone starts ringing again, indicating that he's getting messages. His phone must be busted, probably because it fell down because the notifications don't stop. So Eliott gets up, grumbling, and picks it up.

He immediately sits down on his bed and blinks to make sure he is reading properly. He goes up the thread of messages, starting with the first one.

_Lucas has disappeared from the hospital, no one knows where he is. Do you know where he might be?_  
_Fuck, Eliott! Answer!_  
_Is he with you?_  
_Eliott, do you know where to find him?_  
_He's not at his old apartment or his home._  
_He's not at his friends' house, they're all looking for him._  
_Eliott, it's Yann : is he with you ?_  
_Fuck, the police are looking for him for running away._  
_He's not at the skate park, we don't know where to look anymore._  
_Eliott, what are you doing ?_  
_Tell us if he's with you !!!_  
_Fuck, answer Eliott!_

Eliott gets up from bed, trying to push back his dark thoughts and think as fast as possible. If Eliott had to run away and hide, he would go to his favorite place, but Lucas doesn't have a favorite place to go.

Eliott sends a message to Lucas, then another one but he gets no answer. Lucas is too smart to have taken a phone with him, he must have known that we could trace his location.

Eliott gets dressed and looks outside. The sky is horribly gray and it's raining. If Lucas is outside, he must be completely frozen. If only Eliott knew where to find him...but that would be too easy. When Eliott disappears, he goes to his secret place, especially not to be found. That's also why he took Lucas there, because he knew that if an episode hit him and he disappeared, he would want Lucas to find him. Only Lucas. Because with Lucas it's different. 

And that's when it hits him. Maybe Lucas wants Eliott to find him. Maybe it's not only Eliott's favorite place anymore, but also Lucas'. 

Eliott runs out of his house and almost tears the gate out of the park when he opens it. He arrives breathlessly towards the bridge.

''Lucas?''

A sob resounds in the shadow of the bridge and Eliott rushes. Lucas is sitting against the wall, head in his arms, still wearing a hospital gown, under his jacket, and he is shaking like a leaf. He cries quietly, and Eliott takes him gently in his arms.

''I didn't know where else to go." Lucas sobs, "I don't want to move. I don't want to leave. I don't want to be away from you. I don't want you to hate me.''

Eliott shakes his head and gently pulls Lucas' chin to look at him.

''I don't hate you, Lucas, I love you.''

''Then stop being away from me, Eliott, I need you. Don't you realize how much your absence makes me suffer? I need you.''

Lucas repeats it like a litany, "I need you," and it's almost scary. It's something no one has ever told Eliott. Eliott always felt like he was too much. He always thought he was a burden to others, a burden on his ankle, and Lucille just confirmed it. His parents don't say it but he knows he is a burden to them. 

But today there's this guy, this incredible, funny, cute, really smart guy who's holding on to Eliott and telling him he needs him. And Eliott feels something new growing inside of him. Something indescribable but really powerful.

''I have you, Lucas. I'm right here. I'm sorry. I'm right here.''

Eliott says it for Lucas, but maybe a little for him. He is there. With Lucas. And at this very moment, he knows he will be all his life. As long as Lucas needs him, he will be by his side. As soon as he puts his arms around him, Lucas hugs his chest and stops sobbing.

They stay a few minutes just like that, Lucas huddles in Eliott's arms, without talking, without moving.

''I knew you would help me find it.'' Lucas ends up saying.

''What?"

Lucas lightly rubs his head against Eliott's chest.

''My favorite place. It's in your arms."


	10. Protected

Eliott quickly sends a message to Idriss and then to Yann to tell him that he has found him and asks them to warn everyone. He doesn't even know who is included in this "everyone". He doesn't really know what to do now, so he takes Lucas home. Lucas is shaking more and more so Eliott takes him to his room and takes off his wet clothes. All he has left is a shoulder splint, which crosses Lucas' back, and his boxer shorts, which are so wet that they are transparent.

''Come take a hot shower.''

Lucas looks at his harnessed arm with a sigh and shakes his head.

''Are you allowed to take it off to shower?'' 

Lucas looks totally lost, almost extinguished. As if he hadn't really slept for several nights. He seems exhausted.

''I don't know, I should have gotten the discharge advice this morning, but I was already gone. They wanted to send me to a home in Rambouillet. I didn't know what to do.''

Eliott hugs him gently.

''It's okay, Lucas. I'm taking care of you.''

''I just want to go to bed. Please. Let me sleep in your arms.''

Eliott nods, but lets go of Lucas to open his closet and take out some dry clothes. He helps him to put on a dry boxer shorts and a jogging pants but when he wants to help him to put on a T-shirt, Lucas pushes him away. 

''Forget it, it's too much trouble. I want to sleep against you. Come on.''

Lucas lifts the cover from Eliott's bed and sits down. Eliott looks at him smiling because Lucas looks at his sweater as if he could take it off with the strength of his eyes. Then Eliott takes off his sweater and his T-shirt before joining him and taking it against him. 

''Finally.''

Eliott chuckles and it makes Lucas move his head slightly on his chest. Lucas gently traces Eliott's tattoo with his finger before raising his head to look at it.

"Thank you for coming to pick me up. I knew you would."

Eliott gently kisses his forehead, trying to hold it tight without hurting him.

''I'm really glad I found you. ''

Lucas falls asleep peacefully in just a few seconds. Eliott holds him like this, against him, and frankly, he would really like to do it for the rest of his life. Lucas always looks exhausted, but he looks much calmer, like he feels safe and Eliott wants to keep making him feel that way. But his phone keeps vibrating and Eliott knows they can't just hide here forever. Without moving Lucas, he takes his phone out of his pocket. He has an impressive amount of worried messages, some of which come from numbers Eliott doesn't even know. He doesn't have time to read them all when the intercom rings and Eliott is startled, causing Lucas to groan in his sleep. 

He gently shifts Lucas so that he is on his cushion and rushes over so that the intercom ring does not wake him up. The whole situation is so unreal that he already imagines hearing a "It's the police, we know he's there, open up".

But no, instead, it's a soft voice.

''Eliott, can you open up, please.''

Eliott frowns because he doesn't recognize that voice. So he imagines the policewoman, in uniform, waiting for him to open up and he's about to hang up.

"Eliott opens the fucking door!"

Idriss' voice startled him and he pushed the door opener button. He hangs up the intercom and opens the front door so that Idriss doesn't slaughter the door as he usually does. 

Idriss appears on the stairs, followed by a brunette woman carrying Maya in her arms and a blonde woman who gives him a sweet smile. Behind them, there is Sofiane with the three friends of Lucas who came to pick him up in front of the school on Wednesday, then some girls Eliott doesn't know, except Imane. 

Idriss takes him in his arms and hits him twice in the back.

''Is he okay?"

Eliott nods as he enters the living room which fills up in a few minutes with all these worried faces.

"Yes, I think so."

Yann, whom Eliott saw in photos when he spent the evening with Lucas, quickly looks around him and then looks at Eliott.

''Where is he?"

"In my room, he's sleeping."

''Oh, he's more than okay then.'' Laughs a curly guy.

"Baz!" grumbles the guy next to him with glasses. "Are you stupid or what? His mother is here."

That's when Eliott realizes he's shirtless and everyone's looking at him. He looks at the blonde woman and looks for the resemblance. She has a sweet smile on her lips but what strikes Eliott are her green eyes so clear that they seem blue. 

''I'm Annie, Lucas' mom, thanks for finding my boy. Can I see him?"

Eliott nods and points to his room. He gently opens the door and takes the opportunity to grab his shirt on the floor. He gently opens the curtains and Lucas starts to growl almost immediately.

''Let me die here, please.''

Lucas' mother giggles and sits on the edge of the bed.

''My boy was never a morning person. But it's already 11 o'clock, Lucas."

Lucas stands up in one go and grinds his head, holding his shoulder.

''Mom? What are you doing here?"

''I did what you did, I escaped from the hospital.''

Eliott knows he should go and leave them, but he freezes at the words of Lucas' mother. Lucas widens his eyes as he looks at his mother and she starts laughing.

''But no, silly. I've been given permission to go out just because you need me but I have to be hospital by six o'clock. Everything is arranged, Lucas. Why do you always think you're all alone in the world ? I really should have taught you how to ask for help."

Eliott slowly exits the room, leaving Lucas with his mother. He joins everyone in the living room and Lucas' friends officially introduce themselves this time. He learns that everyone is searching for Lucas everywhere this morning and it makes him smile. If Lucas thinks he's alone in the world, it's clearly not the case.

Maya takes a sheet of paper and holds it out to him with a smile so Eliott sits down and starts to draw. He looks at her and smiles while crossing her blue eyes. It seems that she knows exactly what Eliott needs to calm his mind.

He looks at his bedroom door, wondering if Lucas is okay in there, and hoping that "everything is arranged" means that Lucas will be able to stay with him but the little girl elbows him as she shows him the drawing.

''Draw Maya!"

Eliott smiles and continues to draw an owl in front of the little girl's delighted smile.


	11. Not alone

''I'm really very angry with you, Lucas.''

Lucas looks at his mother. Her smile has totally disappeared and she is not laughing anymore. So Lucas looks down to look at his hands because it's less painful.

''I know I'm not a perfect mom, Lucas. I know it's hard for you but you don't have to spare me. I'm your mom, Lucas. Why didn't you tell me what was going on? You had surgery two weeks ago and I didn't find out until today? I know it's been hard for you, but I'm better now. I'm still your mother, it's my job to take care of you, not the other way around. I'm really angry at the hospital, they should have contacted me and not just believed you when you told them not to. You're only 15 fucking years old. I may have problems, but I still have parental authority, you're not an orphan, Lucas, you have a family.''

Lucas sighs as his mother gently takes his hand.

''I'm really sorry you felt so lonely that you thought you had to run away. It was Christelle who called me because she thought you would have come to see me, she was very worried about you. When she arrived at the hospital, you had disappeared. She didn't even know that a social worker wanted to take you. Because she wasn't married to your father, she wasn't considered family. We were really scared for you, Lucas."

Lucas looks at his mother sitting in front of him. He never thought she would get out of the hospital to come and take care of him, but he's glad she's here.

''I don't want to leave here, Mom. They wanted to send me to a home on the other side of Paris. I want to stay here. My life is here. I'm tired of moving around, I don't want to go to another school yet."

Lucas' mother sighs and Lucas leans over to her.

''I'm sorry, mom, I didn't mean that about you. I know you're doing your best. And I was happy with my new school."

''Thanks your new boyfriend, I guess."

Lucas's mom is smiling again as Lucas's cheeks turn red. 

''I know that your religion says that''

Lucas's mother gently places her index finger over his mouth.

''Shhht, Lucas. No religion will ever forbid me to love my son. I love you and I will always love you, my Lucas. I will always be proud of you."

Lucas bends over in his mother's arms, leaving a huge sigh of relief. 

"Now you have two options: Christelle would like you to move in with Maya. Your father is not there anymore."

Lucas gently frowns.

''Why would she want that? I am not related to her."

Lucas' mother smiles as she strokes his cheek.

''Because she's a good person and you're her daughter's half-brother. Because I think she likes you a lot and she's seen what a great guy you are. Maybe because her little girl kept repeating your name on the way over here. But if not, Yann told me about a flatshare where you could go and he said you could go back to your old school. So it's up to you, Lucas. Your dad will pay for you so no matter what you choose, you have nothing to worry about. And if you ever get lonely, just go to the living room. It's full of people who care about you."

Lucas frowns and gets out of bed. As soon as he opens the bedroom door, he hears a burst of voices and even a few laughs. Eliott sits around the coffee table and draws, Maya on his lap. Yann and Idriss laugh while pointing at Basile while Alexia, Imane and Sofiane talk about a dance contest. Arthur discusses with Christelle and Emma, but everyone is silent when Lucas appears. It's just incredible to see so many people gathered here just for him.

''I...''

Lucas' mother gently caresses his shoulder and he puts his hand on her own. Maya gets up and runs towards him, clinging to his leg and shouting his name. 

''You scared us, Lulu.'' says Yann as he comes to take him in his arms ''don't ever disappear like that again."

Lucas looks at Eliott who smiles at him. Because he knows, him, that he never wanted to disappear. He was in the place where only one person could find him. The love of his life. He thinks back to Louis, lying next to him in the recovery room and hopes he's okay. He would like to tell him that he has found the person who will hold him strong enough in his arms to pick up the broken pieces.

''Lucas, do you want to come home?" Christelle asks softly, "Maya would be very happy to have her older brother with her. But if you prefer to leave, know that you will always have your place with her.''

Lucas looks at her and nods gently, taking Maya in his valid arm.

''I would love to go home. Thank you.''

After that, everyone leaves Eliott's apartment little by little, until only Christelle, Annie and Maya are left with Lucas and Eliott. 

''Lucas, Christelle is going to take me back. I think we have a lot to talk about. Do you feel like going home alone?''

Lucas looks at Eliott who is sitting around on the couch reading a story to Maya and smiles.

''I'm not alone, Mom. You two go on ahead, I'll take care of Maya.''

Christelle nods and Lucas kisses his mother.

''Thank you, Mom. Thank you for everything."

His mother gently strokes his cheek before she goes to give Eliott a hug.

''Thank you, Eliott. So, see you Sunday."

Eliott nods with a big smile and then goes back to the story line because Maya gives him a nudge with a black look.

Lucas watches his mother and Christelle leave then comes to sit down beside Eliott, huddling up against him.

''Little Fox asks again: What if I become bad? Will you be able to forgive me? And if our love tears? Will you be able to fix it? What if I go far away from you? Will you be here when I come back? ''

Lucas chuckles because Eliott takes a higher voice to imitate the little fox so Eliott looks at him and smiles.

''I'll love you all my life, baby. In every universe, for as long as you want, I'll be there for you."

Lucas looks at the book and smiles. Cause if Maya could read, she'd know that's not what the fox's mom answers.

  
  



	12. Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so just for info: the French grading system for high school graduation exams contains mentions : Quite Good enough for a mark above 12/20, Good for 14/20, Very Good for 16/20 and above 18/20, it is possible (but not automatic) to be congratulated by the jury.

''Fuck, Lucas! Lucas !!! Look! I don't fucking believe it!"

Lucas looks at Eliott who jumps on the spot, while leaving his finger on the poster of the Bac results. He is so beautiful when he is happy. Eliott runs towards him and kisses him.

''You have the congratulations of the jury! You are so fucking incredible!"

Lucas kisses him laughing. Eliott looks so proud, it's way better than having congratulations from an unknown jury. Now it's official, he will be able to enter his music school. This is his new project, thanks to Eliott. Before, Lucas had only one desire: to leave. Choose the school farthest from here and leave. But now that he's with Eliott, it's out of the question for him to go far away, on the contrary. So he took the time to think about what he really wants to do. So in September, he will join the National School of Music while Eliott will enter a film school. If he has his baccalaureate, but that, Lucas has no doubt about it. 

They both worked fiercely. So much so that many times, Christelle or Eliott's parents would talk to them through the closed door, probably imagining that they were naked and panting in bed, and they would take a strange smile, a kind of mixture of astonishment and satisfaction, when one of the guys would open the door and discover that they were sitting on the floor of the room, surrounded by textbooks. One day, Eliott told Lucas that if he was paid for all the hours they worked together, he would be rich. Lucas laughed before sitting on Eliott's lap, explaining that he accepts payment in kind, but only from him. Because yes, they finished their study sessions naked, panting and fully satisfied. A kind of well-deserved reward for their efforts.

A cry of joy brings him back to reality. Eliott looks at him with a gentle smile on his face, as if he is waiting for Lucas to come back from his thoughts. Lucas kisses him and shows him the billboard. 

''What about you?"

Eliott steps back with a sigh.

''I didn't look.''

Lucas hits him on the forearm with a sigh and goes back to the billboard. And he sees him directly. Eliott Demaury - Mention Good.

Lucas starts screaming and Eliott immediately joins him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

''You have a mention Good, Eliott! You have a fucking mention! I knew it! I'm so proud of you."

Eliott slams Lucas against the scoreboard and kisses him, completely ignoring the groans of the students waiting to see if they get their results.

''It's because of you, babe. Thank you, babe. Thank you. Thank you."

Lucas laughs as he shakes his head while Eliott pecks his lips with lots of kisses.

''Oh, no, it's all because of you, Eliott! You are unbelievable.''

Eliott has had three episodes since January. It was really hard to watch him like that. But each time Eliott caught up, taking advantage of the vacations to work, asking Lucas to help him. Lucas could almost still hear Eliott's determined voice: _"There is no way I'm staying in this school without you, I have to make it."  
_

''Eliott, Lucas, get out of the way! We want to see! Oh God, I won't miss watching you lick each other' s faces anymore."

Lucas looks at Lucille and takes on an evil smile. 

''Don't worry, I can see you missed it.''

Lucille shows him her middle finger with a big smile. 

When he came back to class after his hospital stay, Lucille came to apologize for her behavior and they talked for a while. Lucas is still angry with her for totally destroying Eliott's self-confidence, but the atmosphere in class was a lot nicer after that. They didn't become friends, but at least they put up with each other. 

''I'm kidding. Congratulations, Lucille!"

Lucille looks at her name and takes a huge smile.

''Thank you, Lucas. I guess I don't have to look for you and I can congratulate you. And you, Eliott?"

''I got a mention!''

Lucille opens her eyes in surprise and it hurts Lucas' heart. And even worse, as if she couldn't believe it, she quickly looks at the billboard and then looks at Lucas.

''Damn, unbelievable!''

Lucas hugs Eliott against him and nods.

''Yeah, I totally agree. He's just unbelievable. I'm so proud of you, baby."

''Dibs on watching!'' Idriss yells as he joins them.

''Hell no!'' Sofiane moans, ''Move over.''

Eliott and Lucas burst out laughing, watching Idriss and Sofiane squabble to be able to watch the first when they are surely the ones who arrive the latest.

"So, ready to celebrate?"

Lucas nods and that's when he sees them: his brothers are there. Yann, Basile and Arthur are standing in front of the high school, bags on their backs probably full of alcohol and video games.

"Ok, let's go to my house, my parents are gone until tomorrow. Don't worry, your mom already knows."

Lucas stops for two seconds to send a quick message to his mother, then to Christelle to tell them the results. Since one month, he lives again with his mother, and even if he has to admit that he misses Christelle and Maya, he is happy. He sees Maya as soon as he wishes it then they spend a lot of moments all three of them with Eliott, because the rare times when Lucas goes to see Maya without Eliott, she sulks, asking _''my Eliott''_ , which makes Lucas laugh a lot. Eliott has almost joined the boys when Lucas joins him running and jumps on his back. Eliott catches up with him immediately and Lucas kisses him on the cheek and smiles.

Idriss and Sofiane join them screaming with joy and they spend the whole trip telling bullshit to the guys who will take their exams in two years. 

They spend the day in the Demaury's apartment, playing video games, drinking beer, smoking some weed and eating pizza. Anyway, they're all sleeping here tonight, so they don't mind being totally wasted, and that's good, because Lucas is totally wasted. Basile is worse, but Lucas is really drunk.

It must be 2, maybe 3 o'clock in the morning and Lucas is sitting on Eliott's lap and he's sticking his head into Eliott's neck, kissing him and biting him in the neck, like they're just the two of them. Except that they are sitting on the couch and all their other friends are sitting around them.

"Lucas, can I ask you a question?"

Just in his voice, it can be heard that Idriss is totally drunk, but so is Lucas, so he is not even afraid of the question and nods without leaving Eliott's neck. 

''Of course.''.

Idriss looks at him smiling and Eliott caresses Lucas' back lazily, his hand going down into the jeans of the Lucas, up to the belt of his boxer shorts.

''What would you have done if Eliott hadn't come looking for you in your mysterious secret place?''

Lucas straightens up and looks at Eliott smiling at him, gently pulling his hair back before kissing him. The kiss immediately becomes much too hot to be given in the middle of their friends and the cushion they receive in the middle of their head is there to make them notice.

"Lucas, I asked a question, I was waiting for an answer, not a porn movie." Idriss remarks, laughing as Lucas throws the cushion in his direction but only reaches a lamp next to him, which fortunately doesn't break.

"I hadn't thought of that. I knew he would."

''Uh-uh'' laughs Basile ''Our Lulu was so sure of himself.''

Lucas looks at Eliott with a smile on his face and strokes his cheek.

''No, I was sure of him.''

Eliott throws himself almost immediately on his lips. Maybe Eliott is so drunk that his tongue touches Lucas before his lips, but frankly it doesn't matter.

''It's okay, we lost them,'' laughs Arthur.

"Hey, get a room!" says Idriss. 

Eliott steps back slightly from the kiss and gets up from the sofa, taking Lucas in his arms. He is a little sore from the alcohol, and perhaps also from Lucas' weight, which does nothing to make it easier for him, but he reaches the corridor without falling down.

"It's a damn good idea!''

Yann raises his eyes to the sky and sighs.

''You're not going to leave us here and lock yourself in the room to fuck all the rest of the night anyway? Lulu, you're not that kind of guy."

Lucas squeezes his legs a little more around Eliott's waist and looks over Eliott's shoulder at his best friend. 

''No, of course not. I'm just going to give him the congratulations he deserves and we'll be right back."

They leave laughing and Lucas whispers in Eliott's ear.

''My mouth has been waiting for hours to give you the congratulations you deserve. And not with words."

''Oh, Lucas...'' moans Sofiane. 

Okay, maybe Lucas wasn't whispering, actually. But he doesn't care because Eliott slaps him against the hallway wall and kisses him greedily. 

''If you knew how much I'm going to miss not seeing your cute little ass in your gym shorts and being able to suck your dick in the locker room.''

Lucas giggles and the next thing he know he's frowning because their friends are all standing in the hallway watching them.

''Didn't you do that?'' asks Sofiane. 

"Lulu, no kidding?'' Basile raves, ''Did you do it in high school?''.

Lucas takes a proud smile while nodding his head.

''Oh, yeah, fuck. In the lockers room, some of the classrooms, the janitor's closet, the library, and even''

Eliott covers Lucas' lips with his own to prevent him from speaking and then takes him off the wall, supporting him by his ass.

''We're coming back.''

He carries him to his room and slams the door with one foot before throwing him on the bed. Lucas bounces back laughing, not even hearing the moans or laughter coming from the living room. Eliott joins him just as quickly, covering Lucas' entire body with his own.

''Damn baby, I love you so much.'' 

''I love you more.''

''Impossible."

''Oh, yes, it is."

"Oh no!"

"Oh yes!"

"Oh no!"

"Yes!''

''No.''

Lucas frowns and thinks.

''What were we actually saying?''

Eliott bursts out laughing and kisses him tenderly.

''I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lucas Lallemant.''

Lucas looks at him smiling, gently caresses Eliott's cheek and kisses him.

''Okay, let's do this."

And if half an hour later, their friends open the door of Eliott's room, worried about not answering their calls and find them asleep in each other's arms, half-naked as if they had fallen asleep before being completely undressed, Lucas and Eliott don't even realize it.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a small comment if you want, it always a pleasure for me.


End file.
